bring on the exhaustion

Sleeping Biggie, originally uploaded by *Kendall*.

And just like that, the bacteria are back.

easter bunny

easter bunny, originally uploaded by eag.

how to make pear pants

Print out and tape together a whole mess of 8.5 x 11s to form a drawstring pants pattern. Buy incredibly adorable pear fabric from your local craft store.

Wash and press fabric. (This will need to be repeated when you realize that you didn't buy enough fabric. You will also learn that fabric comes in two different widths. Who knew?)

Cut out pattern after lengthening it for your tall husband.

Fold fabric in half lengthwise to match selvedges. Admire adorable fabric before remembering that you're supposed to fold it so the wrong side faces out. 

Pin paper pattern to fabric, cut out and start sewing according to your pattern instructions. This will take several tries. Get annoyed that Martha Stewart takes for granted that you understand what she means by pin and sew crotch, because that could very well mean start at crotch and result in sewing the inseams of the fronts to each other rather than the rise. Right?

Take a deep breath and admire the pretty butterfly pins you bought. 

The next step will involve sewing and ripping: sewing the zig-zag seams too tight and ripping them out, sewing with the feed dogs down and ripping out the pile of thread, sewing the pants to themselves rather than just at the seam and ripping the entire thing out. But eventually you will have pants.

Insert elastic. Ponder closing seam around elastic in drawstring pants. Cleverly close gap with small placket. Enjoy the word placket.

Apply pants to husband. 

Sigh when husband prefers the sweatpants you bought him on sale at the University bookstore.

giraffes

havin' a giraffe, originally uploaded by jamesgalpin.


Inspired by Riley [and because I'm tired of hearing myself complain about the life ruling pain in my back (which was not improved by the massage today)]* I will now list things that make me happy today:

• Sweet P -- always. 
• Giraffes -- obviously.
• Sunny sun sunshine -- break the sky, sun! Get the winter out of my bones!
• Quilting -- okay, I admit it. I spent time online working with a Bernina comparison chart to figure out what new walking foot I should look for so my quilting won't get bunchy. I'm a seamstress now. Okay, fine.
• Tiger Balm patches -- THAT'S ABOUT MY BACK, BUT IT'S POSITIVE!
• Lily the sweet stupid fat cat -- she laid on the massage table with me very quietly and sweetly.

Alright. The pain in my back is telling me I need to switch from cold to heat now. Where's that kitty when I need her?

*Apparently that sentence required brackets, parenthesis and an asterisk. 

and get this...

Out of nowhere I have a pinched nerve or other in my back -- beautiful little knot riding under my shoulder blade, radiating sparky fire out to my little finer, ribs and neck. No combination of heat and anti-inflammatory soothes it. No position makes it better or worse. Nothing relieves it.

So, during the show last night I made a little online appointment with my acupuncturist and today I was cupped. No, not like that -- dirty -- the ancient Chinese Medicine sort that involves fire, glass bulbs and points. I have the salami slice bruises on my back to prove it.

Here's the get this part: I'd mentioned my SIBO earlier in the appointment, so when she mentioned that the points causing me pain were in the small intestine meridian we had a cartoon-y double take of SMALL INTESTINE MERIDIAN?!?!?

That's right. The bacteria are dying out and trying to hide by blocking the meridian.

Get that.

suck it ibs!!!

fun girl, originally uploaded by saikiishiki.

No more bloating.

No more cramping.

No more pain.

No more embarrassing bouts of diarrhea*.

No more.

As it turns out it is not the obnoxious non-diagnosis of IBS, but a small intestinal bacterial overgrowth that has been plaguing my life for the last 2 years.

After a ten day (outrageously expensive) course of medication I will be cured. CURED!

SUCK IT!!!


*I feel that I should write a Missed Connections entry on Craigslist to the woman who used the bathroom after me at The Wedge today. Sorry, lady.

pear jammy pants

Six years ago today, while walking the Freedom Trail in Boston, I fell in love with the fist boy I ever kissed.

In honor of the day I made him some jammy pants that are actually long enough for his 6'4" frame. I'm not a particularly adept seamstress... let's just say I learned a lot.