happy birthday sweet p

monday, monday...

Monday is my only day off when I'm employed. During the run I work 32 hours a week; rehearsals 48 hours a week and during tech 60 hours a week. Monday is very precious during tech week, so today I took full advantage.

A trip to Linden Hills Yarn for the final skein of my Long Stitch Wrap knit in beautiful Rowan Kid Classic purple.

Over to Wild Rumpus Books to pat the chickens.

Coffee and Tea Ltd. for a cup of masala spiced chai and a bag of cinnamon orange.

Bring it, tech.

into the theater we go

Castle from a winter tale, originally uploaded by gatoth.

coconut oil

coconut oil, originally uploaded by Sarah in Brooklyn.

As I continue on my quest for tummy health I have added a ingredient to my retinue: coconut oil. 1 tablespoon a day spread on Nut Thins. It's heavenly and expeditious.

Here's what the Organic Facts website says:

Digestion: Internal use of coconut oil occurs primarily as cooking oil. Coconut oil helps in improving the digestive system and thus prevents various stomach and digestion related problems including irritable bowel syndrome. The saturated fats present in coconut oil have anti microbial properties and help in dealing with various bacteria, fungi, parasites, etc., that cause indigestion. Coconut oil also helps in absorption of other nutrients such as vitamins, minerals and amino acids.

Immunity: Coconut oil is also good for the immune system. It strengthens the immune system as it contains antimicrobial lipids, lauric acid, capric acid and caprylic acid which have antifungal, antibacterial and antiviral properties. The human body converts lauric acid into monolaurin which is claimed to help in dealing with viruses and bacteria causing diseases such as herpes, influenza, cytomegalovirus, and even HIV. It helps in fighting harmful bacteria such as listeria monocytogenes and heliobacter pylori, and harmful protozoa such as giardia lamblia.

And it's delicious.

So, fruit smoothie in the morning, coconut oil at night, avoid dairy, gluten and sugar during the day. I like my plan and I already feel better. I still have days of unexplained bowel problems, but mostly I have more energy and feel more even.

And did I mention that coconut oil is delicious?

on the mend

on the move, originally uploaded by manyfires.

I have a cold.

I haven't been sick in quite a long time. In fact, I'm not sure I can remember the last time. When compared with ongoing bouts of IBS, rosacea, psoriasis and allergies, suffering from "just a cold" is rather comforting. Unlike my various "syndromes" I know that the cold had a cause and I know that it will end -- just like a real disease! I proudly bought myself tissues with aloe and a penguin shaped humidifier to combat my simple cold. I am greedily resting on my day off while the last dregs of mucus slide their way off my vocal folds. Ah. Just a cold.

I watched 2 pretty incredible movies last night:

The Social Network and Dear Zachary: a Letter to a Son About His Father

Both completely different, but both touching on the human search for identity and justice. Sweet P and I chattered late into the night about potential -- how to reach for it, how to identify what it might even be, how to get on the elusive track. I find, even though I am steeped in my career, I worry that I'm becoming lazy. Should I be teaching? Should I be taking classes? Should I be looking for work out of town? Should I be figuring out how to make money when I want to have a baby? Am I doing everything I can? And toward what goal?

I don't know. I don't know.

What I do know is that I have a simple cold, that my 5 year old cousin made me a crayon drawn book, that I am honored to be in the presence of the stellar artists deeply exploring The Winter's Tale...

... and that my grandpa had a pet pig named Sue.

oh, yah, hamlet

Rosemary, originally uploaded by cinnachick.

When I was a teenager I had a beautiful, erotic dream about Ophelia floating in a pool of water singing "... we'll meet again..." It was so gorgeous, freeing and sensual.

Today I auditioned for Hamlet at the Jungle and it was a tense, affected mess. And then Bain said, "I don't understand that speech. In some versions it's cut."

God. Someday I'll brush the fingertips of my potential.

+++

Update: Didn't get called back.

week 1 day 5

Glass, originally uploaded by E.L.A.

In which I quit the Whole Living Action Plan.

I find that I don't feel better. I find that I feel paranoid, self-diminishing and anxiety ridden. All I think about is food. Is this enough food? Am I eating enough calories? Am I eating too many? Should I be eating more vegetables or is that bad for the IBS? Do I really have IBS? Can't I just have one glass of wine? What does that say about me? Do I have a drinking problem? Blah, blah, emmer-effing blah.

I don't think this is the way the Whole Living Action Plan intends one to feel. It certainly isn't helping me. For the last 24 hours I have been possessed by the conversation a costume designer and draper had about my body during my fitting:

Designer: It's pulling there at the belly.

Draper: Yeah, but I think that's just...

Designer: ...Christmas?

I mean. Ugh. I mean. Really? I know it's all in good fun and that the fitting is about the design coming to life and that my body is more of a hanger than anything else, but... ugh, really? This plan is supposed to be about empowering me to turn a leaf in the mindful approach to my own health, but I find I feel worse than I did when I started.

That's not entirely true. I find that I taste the sweetness in fruits and vegetables in a much more profound way than I did before. I find that I feel better without the sugar and dairy. So, there is that.

I think my new action plan will be to continue to avoid sugar, dairy and gluten, and to join the YMCA.

week 1 day 3

Avocado Heart, originally uploaded by tres.jolie.

I managed to make and consume my Green Smoothie as well as an avocado with lime and left-over Almond Chicken Soup. It was a green day. The avocado is the most decadent of fruits: the color, the fat, the weighty stone. Not only is it my favorite color but it got me through another long dance rehearsal without feeling weak and woozy.

I miss my cup of Earl Grey tea, but I really miss my glass of red wine. I resisted the siren call of rum cake from the Tech dinner next door, but I succumbed to a sip of a citrus-y cocktail.

I also didn't do my exercises.

Cheater.

week 1 day 2

Sea kale, originally uploaded by Stephen*Iliffe.

It was a really great idea to get up and make a Green Smoothie. It was really stupid to oversleep. It was even more stupid to stand in my kitchen tearing kale when I should be brushing my teeth and leaving the house, only to abandon the smoothie, leave the kale on the countertop and run to the bus. Most stupid was being 20 minutes late for my costume fitting because I was oversleeping and tearing kale.

The rest of the day was yogurt and almonds, Spicy Cauliflower, an avocado with lime, an orange and Almond Chicken Soup. I ended up having a cup of caffeinated tea in the middle of the day to ease my withdrawal headache, but all in all a successful finish to a stupid start.

action plan - week 1 day 1

leaves of mint, originally uploaded by Darwin Bell.

I've decided to start 2011 (are we saying twenty eleven or two thousand eleven?) with a little 4 week makeover care of Whole Living . Through exercise and and food based detox I will transform -- gently -- before my very eyes. That's the plan, anyway.

This first week is all about simplifying and purifying; gentle exercise and detox. No sugar, caffeine, alcohol, dairy or gluten. It takes a lot of planning ahead and cooking, but my hope is a more stable tummy, a little weight loss and the ability to dance in rehearsal without pain the next day.

So far I miss my glass of wine and my Hot Tamales, but I'm feeling okay without caffeine. Who knew it would be so easy? Walking for 10 minutes followed by gentle yoga is hardly a strain to my system, but after the last month of sedentary TV watching I'm glad to have the assignment of movement.

Tonight's supper was grilled lime chicken with mache, mint and radish salad . We thought we'd still be hungry afterwards, but damn if it didn't satisfy. I think I'm going to like eating well.

Now for an apple with some honey and cinnamon before bed.