by the by, i made a thingy

I give you, my website. Still constructing, but I threw it up rather quickly with good results! Come visit. Send me a message.

www.emilygunyouhalaas.com

sunning sock

Sweet P is in constant search for colorful men's clothes that are not of the polo or Hawaiian shirt variety. Why men feel their masculinity won't be threatened by bright colors as long as they look like they could be on a golf course or on vacation is beyond me. What about the men who enjoy sweaters, button ups an t-shirts? And worse, what about the men who require a Tall Large or a size 13 to fit their frames and feet? "Here's some navy blue and hunter green! Those non-colors will best fit the huge canvas you've provided."

While he has been able to scout out more colorful sweaters and shirts, footwear continues to be the bain of his mission. Yes, argyle exists, but it tends to fall under the acceptable "kooky" dressing choice that Hawaiian shirts fall under. Yes, bright athletic shoes exist, but Sweet P is not, nor will he ever be, a big Black basketball player. I know. It crushed his childhood dreams when he realized he'd never be Black, because clearly the trifecta was key.

So, I'm knitting him some bright socks. I mean look at those! Yow! Hurts your eyes a little! But lets remember that when the sweet little sales lady at Nordstroms asked him what sort of pink he wanted for his groomsmen's ties he answered, without irony, "Really fucking pink." He takes color seriously and those are some serious socks.

We opened My Ántonia in Detroit Lakes on Saturday. It went well. I don't know if it's the show, the people or Ántonia herself, but I seem to be crawling out of the crippling fear that has clouded my work for the past two plus years. My dad always tells me I'm good at suffering, so working on a long suffering character that very healthily chooses life and forward motion rather than regret has put me in, forgive the phrase, a good headspace. I feel light and full. I feel the very color of feather. I feel myself walking back into the Emily shaped space. I don't want to jinx it, but I feel a little proud.

I continue to book work on a less frequent basis, but feel it a blessing more and more since it leaves space for creating my own opportunities. I've long made my own privilege and it feels good to be forced to make it again.

Meanwhile, I'll merrily jump on our tour bus and knit my way to the next venue when we are privileged to share Ántonia and Jim's glorious story. Catch us when we're in Minneapolis:

My Ántonia
adapted by Alison Moore
directed by Michael Robins
presented by Illusion Theatre at The Cowles Center

Thursday, February 16, 2012 at 10:00AM
Friday, February 17, 2012 at 8:00PM
Saturday, February 18, 2012 at 8:00PM
Sunday, February 19, 2012 at 7:00PM

how-to survive the holidays

This year I have the great honor of working on A Christmas Carol at the Guthrie. This is their 37th production and my second. I forgot what a grueling schedule it is. We opened last Wednesday after a week of 10-12 hour tech rehearsals and previews, had Thursday off for Thanksgiving and rounded out the weekend with 6 shows in 3 days. I'm tired. And I'm not even Scrooge.

Not surprisingly, one can get a bit Scroogian in one's feelings toward Christmas mirth. Luckily, luckily, there are the little girls in velvet dresses. They sit there in the audience trying desperately to stay in their own seats like big girls, but the Ghost of Marley appears and forces them into the safe laps of their parents. It's the first play they've ever seen and while they may not remember the experience later, they will never forget it. I love those little girls in velvet dresses because they remind me how thrilling live performance is and that, in fact, it still thrills me -- even during the 6th show in 3 days.

There is a tremendous tradition created and upheld by one of the long time Christmas Carol cast members of participating in the Adopt-a-Family program. The entire Carol company is assigned a family in need, tasked with donating/raising money, shopping for the items on the family's Wishlists, wrapping the mountain of resulting presents (which is then celebrated with a chili cook off) and delivering the bounty to the family in time for Christmas. They are often referred to as The Cratchit Family; a tangible reminder of Dickens' words:

But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round -- apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that -- as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, 'God bless it!'

In a divorced family holidays are always hectic and tricky. The chaos grows when one gets married and gets trickier when one works long holiday hours. Ultimately, it's the traditions that get me through the stress of the holiday season. I know that I will eat Egg Dish with my mom. I know that I will get an ornament from my dad. It doesn't matter where or when those two things happen, just that they will happen. Those two traditions act like a beacon in the chaos; like star in the field.

come hell and high water sweet p will lean his face on his guitar

Once upon a time my beautiful Sweet P was in a play with his guitar. The play was called Come Hell and High Water created by The MovingCompany.

red light winter

I've been acting since I was 9 years old. There has never been anything else I've wanted to do, no other vocation has ever called to me. On occasion I've tried to shove the square peg of a different career into the round hole of my life, but obviously it has never worked.

However, lately I've started to become a bit disillusioned--a bit lazy. I have led an incredibly blessed life of almost constant employment and seem to have entered a strange age limbo--too old and too young to be cast properly. I have always been very ambitious in my pursuit of work, but lately I've become a bit paralyzed with fear.

Sweet P noticed the fear in me most poignantly. He told me he could see the fear in me on stage. That terrified me. I went back to therapy and, not surprisingly, it has helped. I've started filling my life with objects, habits and people who thrill and inspire me. More difficultly, I've started removing objects, habits and people from my life who don't deserve to be play a part.

The photo above is from a reading of an incredibly difficult show. It was thrilling, inspiring and, most importantly, my scrappy idea.

I feel I'm coming back to myself--stepping back into the Emily shaped space.

10:30a school matinee + cold = this face

this is how we spend our mornings

The mic on my iPad isn't working so you'll have to provide your own sound track. I scanned down my legs, not for scandalous reasons, but to show that her tail is all tucked in. Lily is such a funny little ball of fat and fur. She insists on sitting in your lap and being pet. She follows you around the house and yells at you for not providing a lap to be pet in. She cries like a hound dog when Sweet P leaves the house.

In other news, based on many conversations like the one below, I am back on the no sugar, dairy or gluten diet. Albeit slowly. I haven't gone cold turkey yet since we still have the offending food stuffs in our kitchen and I loathe wasting food.

+++

Eryn: I am sooooo with you in this boat. A few years back I saw an acupuncturist and it actually helped. That and he recommended an "allergy season diet" - which helped even more. No wheat, dairy or sugar from first symptoms till first frost. It makes me cry every time I see a pancake - but much less sneezing is worth it.

Emily: I've been thinking that. Ugh. It was an awful night last night. 2 benedryl didn't make a dent, slept sitting up, sneezed every 10 seconds until I passed out. I think I'd better seriously consider the allergy sea on diet. It's made a big difference, eh?

Eryn: Night and day. Went from practically mainlining Allegra 180 PLUS Singulair and still being sneezy and miserable for 3 months to only taking the singulair on particularly bad days.

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In other, other news as a part of my campaign to remain artistically courageous I'm working through the Linklater book with a friend. He drew some particularly funny "how I see my voice now" and "how I want to see my voice" pictures while gently faux weeping. If nothing else it will be fun.

Sweet P and I continue to talk next steps and alternately experience the future as insurmountable and wide open. Luckily we're able to trade off being the ballast while the other flails. God bless my perfect partner.

he questioned softly why i failed, "for beauty", i replied. "and i for truth--the two are one, we brethren are," he said.

I got to be Maggie the Cat for about ten minutes today. It's a funny business, auditioning; so wonderful to delve into a character and throw yourself at the work, but so awful that it only lasts the length of your time slot. It's difficult to reconcile the disperate feelings of ownership and loss over something that was never really yours in the first place.

No callback yet.

Trying to rest me in the thought that I got to be Maggie the Cat one time for about ten minutes.

And there was free ice cream and new babies to coo over.

And sun.

here inside my heart

This morning we skipped church in favor of more sleep and marriage upkeep. On the way to the bakery we saw our neighbor squatting down by a tree with his camera. He was busily photographing a cicada emerging from his shell. In the early stages yet, the cicada looked like a little green shrimp back-bending his way into adulthood. About a foot away the lovely creature above had fully emerged and was drying his lacy wings. My grandmother used to keep the shells and send them to us in film canisters, but I'd never seen the miracle I saw today.

The first day of rehearsal I had a beautiful chat with a couple of my fellows about religion. It's rare under most circumstances to have a beautiful chat about religion with anyone, let alone actors, but we chatted our hearts full. I talked a bit about how moved I get by the glory of nature and my new friend sent me this gorgeous poem.

I feel truly blessed today. By everything.

+++

Last night as I was sleeping,
I dreamt—marvelous error!—
that a spring was breaking out in my heart.
Along which secret aqueduct, Oh water, are you coming to me,
water of a new life that I have never drunk?

Last night as I was sleeping,
I dreamt—marvelous error!—
that I had a beehive, here, inside my heart.
And the golden bees were making white combs
and sweet honey from my old failures.

Last night as I was sleeping,
I dreamt—marvelous error!—
that a fiery sun was giving light inside my heart.
It was fiery because I felt warmth as from a hearth,
and sun because it gave light and brought tears to my eyes.

Last night as I slept,
I dreamt—marvelous error!—
that it was God I had here inside my heart.

Antonio Machado

idle hands

I have psoriasis. It's another of my darling autoimmune diseases that has no cure. This one manifests itself by producing skin cells faster than I can shed them, resulting in a scaly buildup on my scalp. If I pick at the scales, as I am want to do, they come away from my scalp with little tuffets of hair. Pretty, right?

I have a bit of a picking problem. You know what makes it worse? 8 hours a day of table work. Sitting still with idles hands feels excruciating to me. I pull scales off my head and come away with embarrassing strands of hair which I then hide in my pocket. I mean, really. What? Who am I becoming? I'm trying not to knit because I'm always afraid that folks will think I'm being rude. Truly, I'm not bored! It's just hard for me to have idle hands. But, if I want to keep my hair I think I'm going to have to give up the ghost and just knit.

The great news is that the psoriasis treatment involves sleeping in a shower cap. Sexy.

winona, mn

From Garvin Heights in Winona, MN, originally uploaded by Lisa monster.

I've spent, nearly, my entire life in Minnesota and can't ever remember traveling significantly south of the cities. You go "Up North" to the lake, to Duluth, to the Boundary Waters. You go "Down To" Mayo or Northfield. But I'm talking south, further south down the little woods slicing highways to Red Wing, to Winona.

On Friday I got up at 6am, printed a resume, did my makeup (gag) and hopped in the car to drive 2 1/2 hours for an effing audition. As the miles wore on and the scenery got more lush and hilly my mood lifted and my love of Minnesota swelled. The audition went well but, more importantly, I found the yarn store, the independent bookseller, the co-op and the charming cafe with fresh natural food. I'm ready to move in.

Here's hoping the absolutely charming Great River Shakespeare Festival feels the same way.

this week took some heroics

Jack Stirs The Earl Grey., originally uploaded by jimbodownie.

Here are some highlights in objective bullet point form:

• Get a little ill from over eating eggs with cheese and tea with milk.

• Continue to have stomach problems.

• Decide half-way through second show of 2-show day that if I continue I may vomit onstage.

• Get home and expel the entire contents of my GI track from both ends.

• Have early morning doctor's appointment; give blood, urine and the promise of stool.

• Take 3 specimen cups, Pepto-Bismol and Imodium over to a commercial callback not having consumed food for 18 hours.

• Sleep for 12 hours.

• Fill cups and place in freezer and fridge.

• Miss performance for the first time in my professional career.

• Sleep for 12 more hours.

• Perform first show of 2-show day for roughly 300 patrons.

• Wait to see if second show gets canceled.

• Perform un-canceled second show of 2-show day for 139 patrons.

• Applaud audience at curtain call.

• Stay the night at a hotel courtesy of the theater.

• Dig car out of snow.

student matinee = good dinner

brussel_sprouts_1005, originally uploaded by Mel Hill Photography.

Roasting brussels sprouts with carrots, red potatoes and onions.

Porkchops sprinkled with herbs de province sizzling in the pan.

The last of the red wine.

Kitty asleep on my shoulders.

Season 1 finale of Dexter on Netflix instant.

All of these things make up for the horny teenagers applauding my breasts but not my song in this morning's student matinee.

Suck it.

we dance round in a ring and suppose but the secret sits in the middle and knows

the tree with the pink balls , originally uploaded by april-mo.

THE WINTER'S TALE
by William Shakespeare
directed by Jonathan Munby

January 29 - March 27, 2011

Re-Imagine Once Upon a Time…
Ball gowns meet bluegrass in this fairytale romance that blends two wildly different worlds filled with music and dance: a bone-chilling ballroom where jealousy erupts and an enchanted forest where young passion blooms. At the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve, one royal family's dream turns into a nightmare. Suspecting his queen cheated on him, a jealous king banishes her and their newborn from the court. Years later the child, a free-spirited young woman, falls for a handsome prince among the flowers of Bohemia. Yet as quickly as their love is forbidden, a series of twists lead them both to a magical homecoming like never imagined.

Please note: Audiences are encouraged to come early and take their seats by 10 minutes of curtain to witness The Winter's Tale company enact a pre-show ahead of the action of the play.

FOR $20 TICKETS: Call the box office at 612.377.2224 and ask for the "ACTOR" offer. Only valid for performances January 29 - February 13

monday, monday...

Monday is my only day off when I'm employed. During the run I work 32 hours a week; rehearsals 48 hours a week and during tech 60 hours a week. Monday is very precious during tech week, so today I took full advantage.

A trip to Linden Hills Yarn for the final skein of my Long Stitch Wrap knit in beautiful Rowan Kid Classic purple.

Over to Wild Rumpus Books to pat the chickens.

Coffee and Tea Ltd. for a cup of masala spiced chai and a bag of cinnamon orange.

Bring it, tech.

into the theater we go

Castle from a winter tale, originally uploaded by gatoth.

on the mend

on the move, originally uploaded by manyfires.

I have a cold.

I haven't been sick in quite a long time. In fact, I'm not sure I can remember the last time. When compared with ongoing bouts of IBS, rosacea, psoriasis and allergies, suffering from "just a cold" is rather comforting. Unlike my various "syndromes" I know that the cold had a cause and I know that it will end -- just like a real disease! I proudly bought myself tissues with aloe and a penguin shaped humidifier to combat my simple cold. I am greedily resting on my day off while the last dregs of mucus slide their way off my vocal folds. Ah. Just a cold.

I watched 2 pretty incredible movies last night:

The Social Network and Dear Zachary: a Letter to a Son About His Father

Both completely different, but both touching on the human search for identity and justice. Sweet P and I chattered late into the night about potential -- how to reach for it, how to identify what it might even be, how to get on the elusive track. I find, even though I am steeped in my career, I worry that I'm becoming lazy. Should I be teaching? Should I be taking classes? Should I be looking for work out of town? Should I be figuring out how to make money when I want to have a baby? Am I doing everything I can? And toward what goal?

I don't know. I don't know.

What I do know is that I have a simple cold, that my 5 year old cousin made me a crayon drawn book, that I am honored to be in the presence of the stellar artists deeply exploring The Winter's Tale...

... and that my grandpa had a pet pig named Sue.

oh, yah, hamlet

Rosemary, originally uploaded by cinnachick.

When I was a teenager I had a beautiful, erotic dream about Ophelia floating in a pool of water singing "... we'll meet again..." It was so gorgeous, freeing and sensual.

Today I auditioned for Hamlet at the Jungle and it was a tense, affected mess. And then Bain said, "I don't understand that speech. In some versions it's cut."

God. Someday I'll brush the fingertips of my potential.

+++

Update: Didn't get called back.

super-powered revenge christmas #1

JOKING ENVELOPE  presents BILL CORBETT’S
“SUPER-POWERED REVENGE CHRISTMAS #1”

Joseph Scrimshaw's production company, Joking Envelope, presents Bill Corbett’s new holiday show, “Super-Powered Revenge Christmas #1”.  In a dive bar on Christmas Eve, a disgruntled comic book writer fights with his collaborator (and ex-girlfriend) about his grand vision: a giant comic book reboot of Christmas. Thrill to tales of a brooding Santa! Shudder at the untold might of George Bailey! Question the relevance of Frostina the Snow-woman! Playwright and comedian, Bill Corbett (of Rifftrax and Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame) tackles the age old question that plagues both comic books and the holidays: "Does this all make sense?  I mean, really?" This December, it's on like ret-con.

Written and directed by Bill Corbett
Starring Emily Gunyou Halaas*, Mo Perry, Joseph Scrimshaw, Matt Erkel and John Middleton
(*member of Actors’ Equity Association)

The Minneapolis Theater Garage
711 W Franklin Ave in South Minneapolis

Three weekends only!
Thurs, Dec 2 @ 7:30 PM (preview); Fri, Dec 3 @ 7:30 PM (preview)
Sat, Dec 4 @ 7:30  PM (opening w/ free reception)
Mon, Dec 6 @ 7:30 PM (Pay-What-You-Can Night)
Thurs, Dec 9 @ 7:30  PM ; Fri, Dec 10 @ 7:30 PM; Sat, Dec 11 @ 7:30 PM
Thurs, Dec 16 @ 7:30 PM; Fri, Dec 17 @ 7:30 PM; Sat, Dec 18 @ 7:30 PM (Closing)

HOW MUCH:
$20 regular admission
$2 off for Fringe Button holders/students/seniors
$5 off if you bring a 2010 CONvergence badge or any CONvergence merchandise
$15 tix for previews on Dec 2 and Dec 3.
For more and info and reservations call 612-280-9210
Or buy tickets online at http://jokingenvelope.com/live

Super-Powered Revenge Christmas #1 will be Joking Envelope's prime time event at the Theatre Garage in December, but they will also be hosting other shows and events including an opening night party, the popular musical group The Dregs, a Rockstar Storytellers show and Green T Productions’ Pinocchio-Chan. Super Powered Revenge Christmas #1 is sponsored by Convergence Events, Inc. For more information on the organization visit http://www.convergenceevents.org

PREVIOUS PRAISE FOR JOKING ENVELOPE:
“The Cirque Du Soleil of local comedy” --The Onion
“Rife with sidesplitting moments…complexly written characters…Joking
Envelope is off to an exceptional start” –The Examiner

mbsc quilt

"She stood rooted, tears filling her own eyes, for it was Eva who stared back at her with an expression of extraordinary sympathy and calm."

 "Only it didn't feel like that from inside the earth... They were in the hull of a boat of silence, and blackness, and they were rocking to the end of the world."

 Tante off to Deutchland.

Medicine wheel.